just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Success! We fucked roommates!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
