That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
