allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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