i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just found puke in my bra..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
