he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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