Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
