okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
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I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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