Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.

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  (617): yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9. http://tfl.nu/1zb6
  Replies (25) Good night (2192) Bad night (662)
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  (858): View more from California

  you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.

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  (858): you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch. http://tfl.nu/r7zt
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (1537)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.

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  (902): perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night. http://tfl.nu/cheb
  Replies (14) Good night (3313) Bad night (717)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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  (843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home. http://tfl.nu/096s
  Replies (33) Good night (12582) Bad night (1591)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.

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  (617): Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero. http://tfl.nu/4xtx
  Replies (33) Good night (1851) Bad night (5158)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life

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  (502): just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life http://tfl.nu/8goj
  Replies (18) Good night (4787) Bad night (1057)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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  (816): So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me. http://tfl.nu/bb44
  Replies (23) Good night (1619) Bad night (5464)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree

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  (409): I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree http://tfl.nu/saof
  Replies (4) Good night (2727) Bad night (1231)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere

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  (434): She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere http://tfl.nu/6t7j
  Replies (9) Good night (3224) Bad night (1343)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?

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  (772): how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground? http://tfl.nu/issb
  Replies (19) Good night (4600) Bad night (890)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing

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  (269): he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing http://tfl.nu/dbp3
  Replies (6) Good night (1421) Bad night (2634)
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  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

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  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (2052) Bad night (880)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.

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  (301): Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher. http://tfl.nu/xgiu
  Replies (2) Good night (1281) Bad night (532)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn

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  (647): My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn http://tfl.nu/7pye
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (499)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.

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  (718): I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year. http://tfl.nu/i7yv
  Replies (6) Good night (496) Bad night (306)

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