Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.

Fav 13 2792 783
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.

Fav 17 4292 968
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(714): View more from California

i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?

Fav 17 4511 1333
share tweet
(301): View more from Maryland

it's like iHOP with fire

Fav 20 4250 1065
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(419): View more from Ohio

you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you

Fav 7 4297 1461
share tweet
(801): View more from Utah

He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.

Fav 31 11060 1610
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(614): View more from Ohio

she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.

Fav 14 4554 1367
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.

Fav 3 2111 732
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(971): View more from Oregon

Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.

Fav 2 49 0
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT