she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed