If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!