Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
