Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
