I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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