Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
