I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
