i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I need moral support for this bender
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
