i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
