wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
