Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
