cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
