Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
