She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
