She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're earring is so big in my mouth
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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