Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
