I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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