giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
