If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
