hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
