i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
