He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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