I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
