Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
