I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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