Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
