Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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