oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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