I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
