I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Randomize
