Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
