I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
