That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
