when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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