Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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