so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
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Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
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I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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