I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
