I'm lost and stupid without you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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