Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
My dick has a subreddit
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
