"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
