Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
