Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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