I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
