Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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