It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
