**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
