It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
