No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
