Whod you bang
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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