there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
