you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize