would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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