Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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