He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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