all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
